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 Why you can't keep up 

I don't know if it's just me but often times I'll find myself on a good performing role, where I feel that everything is in it's place. I've been reading alot, studying my Bible, spending time with family, being kinder, softer, more compassionate, going to therapy, journaling, exercising, eating healthy and all the 'good on paper' things you can name or imagine. Then all of a sudden, it's either a change of scenery, a change of environment, a change of emotion and I'm back flat on my back. Has that ever happened to you ? No ? Oh okay. Well let me speak for myself and all the other people who can relate. 

Often times you it's so easy to become so sure of ourselves, so sure of this journey that we're on, counting so much on our routines and it takes that one (or a few for some) to open their eyes to see that what you thought or rather, where you thought you were isn't really where you found yourself to be... evidently, because of the now that you find yourself in. I ask myself my times how I got to that rock bottom, trying to retrace the path and the steps that it took to get to this point but I just can't seem to get it right. Then it hits me. I left God back there where I thought the mountain top was. And even if it was where the mountain top was, point is I left Him there. All it took was one shift around me, and I completely lost it. Lost track of where I left who I knew I was walking with. I don't know who or what you believe in, but I believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God and I vowed to myself, whether directly or indirectly, that I would always aim to live a life of purpose and that's exactly what I did until I got ahead of myself. I started walking faster than the One I was walking with, or rather I got too comfortable, too safe in His care that I forgot to remember that there's always something waiting at the corner, just to get you down. They say he prowls like a lion, looking for who to devour...yeah, him. 

You're probably wondering, what is she talking about ?! I'm talking about the struggle in the faith. I'm talking about those moments where you feel you're at the pinnacle of the mountain only to learn otherwise. In as much as I fell flat on my face, hurting a few other's on the way, I know that all things end up coming together. This was just a wake up call of not being too sure ourselves despite where we think we are in the walk with God. Always check that the person you started with is still the person you're walking with. Letting your guard down so easily due to pride and sled righteousness in your acts and performances can be detrimental to your walk because you start to focus so much on the actions of pleasing God, (or so we think we are doing that when in actual reality that accolades, the feedback that you get of just how great your performance of being righteous is the result of a greater weakness in mankind and that is the true and real selfishness of man.) 

Man has a sickness of wanting to be praised, wanting to be known, but what if only God knew you, and knew you ever so deeply, more than anyone ever could, would that be enough ? I say all this to say, when you get down, don't stay down. Get right back up. Go back to God and like oil, pour your heart out to and all over Him. The devil can't get you down for long if you don't let him. And be careful that you're not your own worst enemy and weapon formed against yourself.